


in between

by die-forellex (heatinfreezing)



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, F/M, Force Bond, Romantic Tension, kylo and rey resonate, short fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-16
Updated: 2018-04-16
Packaged: 2019-04-23 20:36:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14340438
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heatinfreezing/pseuds/die-forellex
Summary: It’s meant to be this way, this in-between, this balance she feels with him. She can’t admit it aloud, can’t acknowledge it outside of these moments but she knows it to be true.





	in between

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Tminor](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tminor/gifts).



> my first stab at reylo fic even though I've shipped it for a few years now. Birthday gift to my dear friend who wanted Kylo and Rey ~resonating~ over their place in the force. thank you to southsidestory for betaing it. <3

Rey is good at hiding. Disappearing, melting, sinking, it’s what she’s done her whole life to survive.  

But things are different now. Hiding, pushing, and fighting simply to survive doesn’t work anymore. 

The Force flows through her more powerfully than ever before as each day passes. It’s always been there. A beautiful, great, thing that cannot be contained within her but she can’t help but reach out to, an infinite well of  _ everything  _ so vast that it’s beyond her comprehension. 

She feels it inside of her constantly, a spark that is now rapidly becoming a blaze. Sometimes she wants nothing more than to open herself to it completely, to step into the sun from her hiding place.

It scares her. 

She isn’t equipped to handle this and the longer this goes on she’s certain that no one is. It’s impossible to keep at bay, and the more she tries the stronger it seems to get. There are times that she feels it would be better, easier, even to simply allow herself to be consumed by it swept up in the flow of the infinite. 

She now understands why the Jedi had emphasized detachment. It’s the simplest way to remain in control when the Force is the sweetest indulgence that can ever be known. She envies this, this detachment. Rey has spent so much time telling herself it’s the only way, but something holds her back, something keeps her from letting go. 

Rey knows that the Force chose her, but at times she feels angry. Angry that she was chosen, that she can never truly belong to herself but must belong to the Galaxy instead. At times she wants to cry and shout, shake her fists at a connection she doesn’t understand or desire.

The loneliness inside of her aches, a throbbing, consuming thing that pains her to the point of agony. She has friends, she has comrades, but none of them matter in this. No one can help her, and no one can save her.  This burden is too much for her to bear, a lead weight on her chest that makes it hard to breathe.

Maybe she will collapse, crushed beneath this weight rather than be consumed. 

She feels him suddenly, as brilliant as lightning strike on mountaintops, as vital as blood pulsing through veins. He is with her in the room, space and time barriers that don’t exist.

“What are you doing here?” 

“I felt you.”

He’s dressed simply in black, his expression calm and restrained. She knows better than to take this for what it seems, knows that the true Kylo Ren is volatile and unpredictable.

A quality she’s beginning to share more and more each day.

She wipes at her tears and casts aside her aching heart as she glares at him. This is not the first time he’s come to her. He always seems to find her when it’s like this, drawn to the loneliness they both feel so keenly. When she’s angry and alone feeling the despair that has become her sole companion he’s always there.

“Why do you torment me like this, acting as if you care when you’ve denied me?” 

Energy crackles between the two of them, an untamable thing passing between the two of them, from them that both connects them and creates distance between them.

He doesn’t answer her but rather steps closer to her, the power flowing between them roiling and twisting so much it makes her hair stand on end.  

“I denied you nothing,” he says lowly, “I offered you everything you desire and you refused it.”

She’s tired of arguing about this and has accepted that their views are simply irreconcilable, that they are never meant to be together. 

Not for the first time Rey laments that the Force connects them this way. She’s stubborn and hurting. She doesn’t want to wonder yet again why they are bound together, why it hadn’t disappeared after Snoke’s demise, why she still feels him inside of her like this. 

Rey stands up ready to banish him, to send him away with all of her might until he takes her hand in his own. 

“You’re not alone,” his touch  _ burns _ , a bright, warm feeling that chases away her anger and leaves her with a calm she hasn’t experienced in months. 

In many ways he is everything she is not, named for his mother’s only hope, a noble legacy born by blood forged in the Force where she is nobody. Where she has longed for companionship he has pushed everyone away. Where she has embraced the light, he has embraced the dark. 

Their eyes meet and she sees it inside of him, a still there glimmer of hope that the dark he knows so well has not consumed him entirely. 

Perhaps the Light and the Dark are both simply that: two burdens too much to bear, each one a shroud. 

Perhaps they have both failed to embrace either completely, leaving them both stranded somewhere in the in-between. 

She holds his hand allowing herself this indulgence as she twines her fingers with his. She sighs. They don’t speak, words falling short to convey what they need from one another. 

He understands her as no one else can and she embraces that, lets herself be overwhelmed by this shared burden until she feels nothing but peace. 

It’s meant to be this way, this in-between, this balance she feels with him. She can’t admit it aloud, can’t acknowledge it outside of these moments but she knows it to be true. She feels it in her bones, in her heart, in her soul. 

This is the way they belong, the  _ only _ way they belong; these fleeting moments of in-between that soothe their spirits as nothing else can. 

They are both nothing and in that they are both everything, and in the Force they are one. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
